Hello from Thrive Farm! You probably know I am a Davidji certified Masters of Meditation instructor if you have been following me for a minute or more. I became a crisis meditator in 2020 after my Covid-cancer and my now-ex-husband began gas-lighting me throughout this time by using my vulnerabilities against me. I started to struggle in all my relationships because my skin felt like it was being dripped with acid after each exchange with the man that was supposed to love, honor, and protect me. (More in a future blog about how I learned strategies to overcome this thin-skinned, emotionally painful existence.)
In my mission to find my way out of the rabbit-hole of depression, I instinctively decided to focus on wellness and made a list of all the things that I could do to feel better. I did therapy, sometimes three times a week. I did Tai Chi, I did, and still do Pilates, and I signed up for a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Class, designed by Jon Kabbat-Zinn in his work at U Mass to help people suffering with pain reduce their discomfort. There is a lot of research behind mindfulness and stress reduction. Through working with my former meditation teacher in and out of scheduled sessions, I came to realize the power we each harness in our human vessels through our breath. We come into this world gasping for air and we leave this world after breathing a final breath. POWERFUL!
I downloaded the several meditation apps and I found my present guru, Davidji on the Insight Timer app, which remains my favorite guided meditation app. Meditation helped ground me through my darkest days. Once I understood the power of the breath and how to work with my constant cycle of thoughts, I would lay on my yoga mat to cry and then start to focus on my breath. My tears would dry up and flickers of hope would arise from within me.
Once you unleash the power of your breath and connect to who you truly are, anything becomes possible. My breath is what got me through a scary helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon and my breath is what centers me when I am feeling untethered in daily life. As critical components of my healing journey, I attended a silent meditation retreat in North Carolina at the Art of Living Retreat Center, a yoga retreat in Mexico, and I joined Davidji’s Masters of Meditation which was an 8 month long program via Zoom and culminated with an in-person week spent with classmates and Davidji himself, in the cool town of Carlesbad CA. Davidji has written several books including the Secrets of Meditation and he worked and studied with many of the most profound meditation-spiritual leaders as part of his journey, after escaping the World Trade Center on 9/11. He ran the education program for Deepak Chopra at the Chopra Center and eventually went out on his own. After I became a crisis meditator, I learned about many of the Yogic traditions that teach us about ourselves, and how to live consciously and intentionally. Davidji often asks the question, “who are you?” When you pose that question repeatedly to yourself, it is very deep. Ask yourself right now, “who am I? Who am I really?” I awoke from this work and became aware of who I had been, who I currently was, and who I really wanted to be. It is from this question that I coach individuals searching for their dharma, or purpose in this life. I studied the yamas and niyamas of yogic teachings which are basically values describing the do’s and don’ts of conscious living. Through this work I was able to realize that I lost myself because I lacked clarity in my values. The values I was raised with were to be skinny, be pretty, and marry rich!!! No wonder my parents were miserable and so had I become the same, married to what appeared to be a successful man, on the outside, lacking any connection to his soul. My journey with mindfulness and meditation led me to becoming grounded and aware of my values. I have connected to my true purpose and my breath continues to be the greatest tool in my toolbox. Please check out my upcoming Mindful-Meditation classes HERE.