Sometimes you need to lose yourself to find yourself. Connecting with your soul and being clear on what one values is an inside job for many of us. This may come naturally to the lucky ones that were born into nurturing homes, to parents that were self-actualized, and clear AF about the things that really matter in life. Then there are my people: those of us screwed up by trans-generational trauma, poor attachment in early childhood, with parents struggling to find their own happiness. Numbing is the norm, as is neglect. We may suffer as kids and/or it may hit us later in life, after living in chaos and stress response causing physical illness and troubled relationships.
I’m not looking for sympathy in sharing this plight, I am offering comfort to those of you that are currently suffering because I can tell you, through personal experience, peace is possible. I am living in peace for THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE in my mid-fifties. Happiness is not an impossible dream. I am truly happy for the first time…not the kind of happy you feel when your child is born, or your team wins a game, nor the kind of happy when you earn your first million. I am talking about underlying happiness within yourself. Self acceptance and self-love being at the core of true peace and happiness.
My people have a lot of work to do to find peace and happiness and we often have to lose ourselves completely and rebuild piece by piece. We have to unpack our traumas and realize why we became the people we turned into. We need to accept all the crap and learn how to connect with our souls and find our deep, often hidden values. We need to stop people-pleasing and say “f**k you” to the shoulds imposed upon us by society and our dysfunctional families.
Accepting, letting go, grounding, connecting to spirit, and to our life’s purpose, our dharma, is the work.
I can proudly say I have done the work and it was so freaking hard, but the payout was finding peace, happiness, and being connected to living a purposeful life. This is self-actualization. I am so full of gratitude this year it is overwhelming. I was at a networking meeting last week and we were asked to share what and who we were most thankful for. I shared that I am thankful for living my dream and for the down to earth people in my life today, that have supported me through the transformation process and/or caught me on the other side of my very real loss of self.
I am so incredibly grateful for my health, my emotional wellness, and my work in mental health, so that I can give back and support others on their healing journeys.
Wishing many blessings to each one of you, my people.